LIGHT AND DARKNESS

It has been over a month now and there is no sign of her. I  go to all those places where I had encountered her – the bus stop, the library,  the canteen, the tea stall outside the university entrance… just about every  possible place I could reach on my own! I ask people  I meet in those places  if they have seen Sujata.

Sujata – a fairly common name immortalized in literature by  none other than Tagore!

“ Which Sujata?  I  have ten listed here. Do you at least know the department ?” asks the clerk at  the library.

My friend Ravi is of no help either.  He was not there when I was with her.

I try calling the university hostel and draw a blank again. “  Can you atleast describe her? “ asks the girl at the other end.

Describe her….!  How  do I describe something that I have never seen?

Yes, I am blind. I was born blind so I do not even have a  reference point from which to start describing something.

Born into a well to do family I have been given the best education  that this country offers for a blind student. Driven by a determination to  overcome my visual impairment I used all my other senses and faculties to the  maximum. A brilliant student , I am a research scholar in the economics  department of the university. Generally, very self sufficient, I can navigate  my way around any known territory.  I use  the services of volunteers to help me read books and write my exams.  I rarely speak to them  outside of their task. To me they are often  nothing more than instruments- like a pen or an audio source!  I don’t want their pity disguised as “kindness”
Ravi .my childhood friend is the only social interaction  that I have outside of my family.  Ravi  knows my hang ups about life.  He is  often critical about the way I am but I let it be…!  I sometimes think that he is like my eyes but  I feel he thinks he is also my conscience!  A loyal friend he was the centre of my dark  world- that is,  until I met her.

The new academic year had just begun and I was sitting in  the library.  There was a paper due for  submission sometime next month and I was waiting for my usual “ reader” to show  up.  I fingered my Braille watch and  found that it was almost an hour past the time he was due.

It was then that I heard her, or may be experienced her  presence.  A faint smell of  ponds powder, a rustle of some cloth , a  faint clinking of bangles across the table and then that voice which asked “ Can I help you?”

I started! “ No.. it is ok. I am waiting for someone” I said  in my usual gruff voice.  “ Yes I can see  that but can I help you with something in the meanwhile?”  she asked again.

I had never heard a voice like that before. Absolutely  divine!  Sounded as sweet as honey and as  soft as velvet.. I wanted to continue hearing it ring in my ears. And ring it  did – continuously for a month as she became my official reader of books for
that paper preparation.

We used to meet regularly. There was a pattern to it. I  would wait for her at my usual table in the library. She would then walk me  around the shelves reading out the names of the books and I would indicate whether  or not we needed it. Then we would issue those book and move out into the  garden outside where she would read from the chapters I wanted and I would take  notes in Braille. A few hours of this and we would then go to the canteen for  tea and snacks following which I would drop her off at the bus stop.

I usually knew she was there even before she announced  herself. It never failed to amaze her!   For  such a talkative girl, I am surprised now when I think back, how little she  actually told me about  herself. Most of  her conversations would be about others- particularly me.  Other than Ravi, I can say that she was the  only person who actually came close to scaling those walls I had built around  myself.

Sujata……a presence that slowly became a voice then a touch. It  was raining that afternoon when  she  pulled me close into the umbrella that we were sharing. Her touch was as soft  as her voice could be when she asked me some very sensitive questions. Was it silk or her skin I wondered as we made it to the shade of a tree.  I wanted to take her in my arms and kiss  her..

“ You are the most beautiful woman in this world”  I said pulling her towards me.

“ No I am not. I am a  dark , fat and ugly girl” she laughed

The rain stopped and we parted. I remember the musky smell of her body –sweat and ponds powder. Felt her lips on mine and the smoothness of  her hair ..  Her breath on mine and her  soft hands against my face

That was one month ago.  I haven’t met her again after that.  I don’t know if I ever will ! The world of darkness and the world of  light do not often intersect. If they do then the rules of this intersection  are determined only by the people who live in the world of light!

Advertisements

16 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Ibhade
    Jul 22, 2011 @ 00:59:50

    please! please! what happened next?….so excited…don’t keep me waiting.. *tapping my foot impatiently* ….weldone sistah….you got me captivated…just wonder how it would end?… ..*sighs with want*

    p.s congratulations on your new blog 😀

    Reply

  2. Basil Sylvester Pinto
    Jul 22, 2011 @ 04:45:23

    This story is really very nice, reasonably short,and written in simple and lucid language which can be read by even an average reader. I would like to start my feedback with that, as this is the trait which actually draws the attention, of even the initially, hesitant reader to reading. As a novitiate writer of fiction, I am sure this story will evince their interest in your stories to come following your brilliant start, and in effect, inculcate a healthy reading sense in them.
    They say, ‘Love is Blind’, and in the case of the blind man in whose perspective you breathe a very touching story, this holds very true. The story is well-woven, and holds the attention of the reader to the end.

    Reply

  3. KP
    Jul 22, 2011 @ 06:16:40

    Welcome to the world of fiction.That was a touching story crafted so well.Looking forward to more of the stories.

    Reply

  4. anin2804
    Jul 22, 2011 @ 10:40:11

    Congratulations on the new blog, Meera! Lovely and a heart-touching story.
    “Dayaar-e-dil kee raah mein chiraag sa jalaa gaya
    Mila nahi toh kya huaa, woh shaqkl toh dikha gaya….”

    Reply

  5. Meera
    Jul 22, 2011 @ 21:08:48

    Ani thanks my dear. You are so encouraging and coming from you- writer of such beautiful stories, this is quite a compliment!

    Reply

  6. cloud nine
    Jul 23, 2011 @ 01:44:51

    Thats lovely and haunting, Meera! So happy that you took up fiction. And light and darkness is indeed a great start. Wish you more laurels and success!

    Reply

  7. theextraaamile
    Jul 23, 2011 @ 22:47:24

    enjoyed reading this piece! for an introduction, i am Savio Paes,basil’s friend. A teacher by profession, a reader,writer by passion. hope 2 read many such stories from u. Basil introduced me 2 ur blog

    Reply

    • Meera
      Jul 24, 2011 @ 15:23:27

      Thanks Savio. I just read your story and since you say t hat all Goans somehow know each other I would like to ask you if you know my best friend Maria Pais ? She is now in Canada.
      BTW are you an english teacher? I am sure you will be brilliant.

      Reply

  8. theextraaamile
    Jul 24, 2011 @ 16:47:44

    Ummm Meera,u nvr know..a photo or pic will surely help..is she on any networking site? As far as d brilliant part, i’ll cal myslf a good teacher,not very confident on the writing part,i do tat as a passion 2 ease of tense times in lyf!

    Reply

  9. theextraaamile
    Jul 24, 2011 @ 16:52:17

    yup English teacher…. but with a difference,im the kid that kind of refuses 2 grow up, so when around children….im part of dem,d only difference iz in class i am the 1 calling the shots!! 🙂

    Reply

  10. krishnapriyal
    Aug 04, 2011 @ 21:59:53

    Very touching story and stopped at the correct place.. letting us guess about Sujatha.. I liked it very much!

    Reply

  11. Shomoita
    Sep 03, 2011 @ 18:37:08

    Aww… poor guy! 😦

    Reply

  12. simple girl
    Sep 19, 2013 @ 17:53:39

    After stalking your other blog , hopped over here.. Read the first post and boy I am hooked.. will be rummaging through the archives and devour every bit..

    The story is fabulous .. specially the last line..

    Reply

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: