Shadows under the moon

It was the fourth day after the full moon. The heat of summer had given way to the chilly evenings of Autumn. Delhi was getting ready for winter.

Nina

Nina had been on her feet the entire day. Her salon was filled with women wanting to have  a range of beauty treatments done. She went around, ensuring that her staff were not slacking in their work 

“Come on.. hurry up” she whispered into the ears of Ayesha, the new girl who was running a hair dryer through a customer’s hair. Pinky, the girl who was washing hair for another customer had been hired only for the day. Nina  had planned for this well in advance to make sure that lack of adequate staff did not mean that customers had to be turned away. She had also got into an arrangement with  a couple of “Mehendi walas” and given them  space to sit near the reception area of the salon. They were to give her a Rs 100 for every customer who used their services. Nina’s beauty  salon was new in the area. It was barely three months old. She knew this  was the day when she could make a killing and possibly get some loyal customers for the rest of the year.

Today was Karwa Chauth– the day when all married women, irrespective of their age wanted to dress up like brides and look their best. They were supposed to be fasting for their husband’s long life and would eat and drink  water only later in the evening  after seeing the moon through a sieve!

Coming as she did from the matrilineal Khasi tribe in Shillong, this custom seemed rather strange to her. But who was she to complain ? It was her special day as much as it was for her customers .She needed to leverage this  for her business. Afterall, there was a bank loan to repay. And how long was she to travel around in her scooty? The searing cold winds in winter numbed her face every time she travelled on it.

She mentally calculated the amount she would make today, taking into account the discounts that she was offering. It seemed decent. She would definitely be left with enough at the end of the month to make the down payment for the second hand car that she so badly wanted. Yes, Karwa Chauth was certainly a business puller!

Suman

Suman examined her face carefully as she came out of the booth where she had been taken for a facial. Her skin certainly looked great! She pulled out her phone, pouted into the camera and clicked a selfie.

“Getting ready for the moon sighting” she wrote as she posted the image on Instagram using the hashtag “karwachauth”. She waited , looking for the response she wanted. It was a full five minutes before she saw series of red hearts in the comments section.

It irritated her the way, Viren took so much time to respond to everything. He was a like slow lumbering elephant or may be a  buffalo . Actually, he  looked more like a buffalo- fat and dark with a brooding expression. At least an elephant could move fast when it wanted to and was a more intelligent animal.

But then, he was a rich buffalo.

She had not wanted to marry him. She had felt repulsed when her aunt had shown her his photograph. But both her mother and her aunt had convinced her that given their family situation, it would be difficult for them to find her the prince charming she wanted. Viren the buffalo had been smitten by Suman’s good looks and wanted to marry her. He ran a successful scrap iron business along with his father. He was  also an only child. His mother had died a year ago and according to Suman’s mother and her aunt, all of  this together,  made for a great married life.

So here she was getting ready for her first Karwa Chauth. She had got him to promise that he would buy her a pair of diamond earrings as gift. She had spent an awful lot on the new lehenga that she had ordered for today and she wanted to look her best. She looked at her phone and found a series of hearts coming up by way of comments- most of them being from her friends and her cousins. She knew they were envious of her and she enjoyed the power it gave her over them .

There was also a whatsapp message from Viren that said “Love you Janoo”. She laughed mentally. It was actually not too bad a situation. She enjoyed his attention and his awe of  her beauty. She had made this entire Karwa Chauth fast into a theatrical performance feigning fainting spells and looking at him like a tragedy queen saying “Anything for you dearest”!!

She was looking forward to the moon sighting on the terrace. She had invited her mother, aunt as well as his aunts and cousins for it. She knew she was going to look stunning in her full regalia and she was definitely going to be the star of the show.

Priyanka

Priyanka looked at the mirror once again. The hair do was certainly making her look lovely! The make up was not too bad either. She was glad that she had decided to choose this new place instead of her usual salon. The girls here seemed better trained. They had played up her best features.

Certainly worth the money that she was spending!

Her stomach was growling from want to food. She opened her hand bag and took out a chocolate and bit into it. The girl who had done her make up looked surprised.

“Arre, it is okay. I have been doing this for nearly six years now. Nothing has happened because I  cheated during the fast” she said with a wink.

The entire ceremony was extremely tiresome. But she had to go through it because it was expected of her. Ashish, her husband also seemed to accept it as a matter of course that his wife should fast and pray for him. She wanted to get this all over with. She was tiered of tradition – tiered of being the pretty wife, the perfect mother and the dutiful daughter in law.

No one seemed to notice the real woman behind that façade. No one knew about the Priyanka with  unfulfilled needs who lay awake at night fantasising about male models and film stars as Ashish snored next to her.

“Well at least I have Karan now” she thought to herself with a little smile. She had met him in her office. What had started as a friendship was now a passionate affair. They spent time together after work and also travelled with each other -sometimes on work and sometimes using work as an excuse to travel.

Like her, he was also married. But that had not mattered to either of them. Though they had never discussed it ,  it was clear that each of them had a deep lacuna in their marriage that they were seeking to fill in through the other.

Their relationship existed in a universe parallel to the one that inhabited with their lawfully wedded spouses

“ Would that be all Madam or do you require any other service” asked the girl who had been attending to her.

“Oh nothing more for today. But I will be coming next weekend for a full body waxing” she said.

“Sure Madam. I will book an appointment for next Saturday. What time do you want” asked the girl

 “Make it Sunday afternoon. I have a flight to catch in the evening. Now can you get my bill ready  ?” asked  Priyanka taking out her purse.

Yet, another reason she liked this place. Unlike the other salon she frequented, there were no prying questions here. No parlour aunty who wanted to know where she was going and whether Ashish was also coming with her .

She paid her bill and walked towards the door thinking how badly  she wanted the day to get over.

“Only two hours more” she thought looking at her watch with a smile as she started her car and moved towards the place she called home.

Rekha

She had not wanted to come here but somehow it seemed to be expected that she would make an effort to dress up and look her best for today. It had been a hard day with the fasting and the bouts of crying. She had come here not so much  to dress up but to cover up her puffy eyes and the bruises through make up. 

Her mother in law and her sisters in law had been behaving like nothing was the matter. They were very good at  shutting their eyes and ears to anything that they felt uncomfortable with. In the beginning she had tried talking to her mother in law about  it But her mother in law seemed to think that it was her fault.

“You need to nag him less. He comes home after such a hard day and you go around looking like a tragedy queen with a long face” she had said.

Rekha wanted to ask her how could she bring herself to look welcoming towards a  man who inflicted so much physical and emotional pain on her. But she realized there was no use talking to her about such things.

She had tried to talk to her mother and it troubled her that her mother did not seem to understand what was happening to her either.

And ofcourse there was always the advice of having a child which  according to both of them, would miraculously solve all the problems in her life.

But Rekha was not going to have a child. She had seen a doctor  and got an IUD fixed. Under no circumstances was she going to bring a child into this violent marriage! She was looking for wings to fly  , not shackles to bind her down. It was only a matter of time before she would find her way out. She was already in touch with a NGO that helped women like her. They were advising her on how to move out quietly with everything that belonged to her.

But in the meanwhile she had to continue with the role play of being the dutiful wife who fasted and prayed for her abuser.

**********************

It was nearly seven in the evening when the moon rose to her full glory up in the sky. She watched with amusement, the groups of women standing out in the open and trying to catch her rays through the holes of the sieves they were holding up in their hands.

How ironic  it was that she was being made a central character in something that had nothing to do with her at all!

Mistaken Identity

She knew Gaurav had a twin brother. But nothing prepared her for the shock when she first saw him. He had not come for their marriage. Well, actually no one from either of their families had!  They had defied tradition and had had a registered marriage, with only a handful of friends in attendance. Gautam could not make it because it had been too sudden and he was too far away in London. He had promised his brother that he would come and see them in a couple of weeks. The two weeks became a couple of months and more.  And today after two years he was suddenly here at their door step.

At first, she had thought it was Gaurav. But in a moment, she knew he was not. He did not have the “occupied with his thoughts” look on his face when she had opened the door.  He wore a smile, carried a back pack and in his hand was bouquet of roses!

“Hi Sarala” he said “I am Gautam” he said handing her the flowers

“I know. Please come in, and thank you for the flowers” she said with a smile, opening the door wider.

“Where is Gaurav?” he asked settling down on the couch in the living room.

She wished she could answer it. But then it was not easy. Gaurav rarely told her where he was, who he was with or when he was likely to be back home. When she called him, he cut her calls and sent out a message saying “I will call you back”. But then he never did.

“Hasn’t told you where he is, right?” asked Gautam

She did not know why but she felt compelled to defend her husband.

“He did not know you were coming. Otherwise he would have been here” she said

“I do not need to TELL him. Remember we are twins” he said with a laugh

“I hope you are going to stay with us for some time” she said

“No, my dear! Only until tomorrow afternoon. I am transiting through Bangalore. I have to be in Mumbai the day after tomorrow morning” he replied.

“Why don’t you freshen up while I make you some tea?” she said leading him to the guest room.

“Tea? Didn’t Gaurav tell you? I never drink tea! I only have coffee. We may not have that proverbial mole on the shoulder to tell us apart but this is one sure way to guess” he said with a wink as he flung his backpack on the bed in the guest bedroom. Since she didn’t know how to respond to that, she rushed out of the room.

She felt embarrassed that she did not have real coffee powder but only instant coffee in her kitchen. As she heated the milk, she wondered why she felt a desire to impress this man. After all, wasn’t he a mirror image of Gaurav? But somehow, something about him was very different from the serious banker she was married to. The resemblance obviously ended with the physical appearance.

He was looking at the bookshelf when she came into the living room with the coffee.

“William Darlymple! Romina Thapar… you must be the history buff because I know my brother. He does not read anything beyond crime thrillers” he observed

The sun was going down and the balcony was bathed in the red glow of the sunset. He took the cup from her hand and walked out into the balcony as she followed him

“Beautiful! “he said turning around suddenly!   She did not know why but she felt herself blushing.

And there they stood together, on the balcony watching the sun go down. It had been ages since she had stood there with his twin, her husband! But then Gaurav was usually too impatient to stand there doing what he described as “nothing”!

It was six thirty when the sun finally went down the horizon.

“She is an amazing artist” murmured Gautam

“Who?” she asked

“Nature. Look at the strokes of colour on her canvas” he remarked with a smile.

She knew he had studied art history and was working as a curator in an art gallery in London. So, his comment was not surprising. She wanted to ask him about his work, his life in London and much more. But somehow, she felt tongue tied. It was rather strange because she was never at a loss for words. In fact, Gaurav often jokingly referred to her constant chatter as “nonstop nonsense”!

“Please excuse me , I have to start getting dinner ready” she said walking out of the balcony

“Ofcourse. And I hope you will let me help you” he said following her inside into the kitchen

It was very disconcerting to have him watch her as she moved around in the kitchen. She was aware of him in a way that she had never been of Gaurav- not even in the days when they were courting.

She had sometimes wondered why she had married Gaurav. Maybe it was because she was flattered by the attention from a good looking and  successful  man like him? Or may be it was just a phase in her life when she had wanted to settle down.

“Here let me chop the vegetables. You will cut yourself if you go on like this” he said taking the knife from her hand. She stood back and watched him in action. His fingers were long and slender. But then so were Gaurav’s. Why had she never noticed his fingers? Actually, coming to think of it, seeing the image of her husband in another man, made her suddenly realize what she had missed noticing in the man she had been married to for two years!

“ I think I should call Gaurav and tell him you are here” she muttered.

“ I have already sent him a message. He said he  will  be here by seven thirty” said Gautam.

“Until then why don’t you go and relax in your room ?” she asked him

“Why? You don’t like talking to me?” he asked her with a laugh

“No… no! I just thought you might be tiered” she replied.

“It takes a lot to tire me !” he said with a wink

She turned away from him and asked “ So tell me about yourself. Gaurav said you are not married yet. Do you atleast have a girl friend?”

“No, not at the moment!” he replied

Sarala felt it was stupid to ask “Why not”. It was way too personal! But then, he started talking about it.  “I have been in and out of relationships. Never found anyone with whom I felt like being with forever”

“Why? What are you looking for in a relationship ? ” she asked

“I don’t know. Stability I guess ! Someone who is caring, someone who gives me a feeling of belonging” he said locking his eyes into hers. It was only when the doorbell rang, that they broke their gaze.

“Let me answer the door” he said leaving her in the kitchen. Her heart was beating loudly and her hands were trembling as she started kneading the dough for the chappatis.

She could hear Gaurav at the door and it startled her to see both of them walk together into the dining area.  Two tall men, with almost similar hairstyles .. and both of them wearing blue! Except for the checks on one shirt  and stipes on the other it was difficult to tell them apart at first glance.

“I hope Sarala has been taking good care of you” said Gaurav.

“Ofcourse!! She offered me tea” said Gautam and both men started laughing.

“Sorry, I just had instant coffee to offer him”  she said looking at her husband

“Do not apologize!! I am happy to accept anything that you can offer” said Gautam

Sarala looked away. She somehow felt that it was not coffee that he was talking about.

It was nearly nine   and they were all sitting in the balcony. She had wanted to decline when Gautam poured out a glass of wine for her. But something in her had made her feel reckless tonight. She drank not one but two glasses, which made her now feel like she was floating in the air!  She was glad she had laid out dinner beforehand.

She had brought out her best crockery.  Even Gaurav in his semi drunken state had noticed it.

“You must come more often. Look at the table laid out like in some fancy restaurant!” he remarked

“I would do it more often if you would only notice. Most of the time you eat dinner with your phone” she said snapping.

“Hey…!! Stop annoying my beautiful sister in law” said Gautam looking at his brother in mock anger.

“Ah of course! I am always to blame” grumbled Gaurav.

She looked at them both sitting around the table.  Again, dressed similarly – in black T shirts and grey shorts – except that one had a petulant look and the other a rakish smile.

She was surprised by both the similarities and the differences. It was like two sides of the same coin! It must be the wine. that was making her think like this! She excused herself and went into her bedroom to retire for the night.

As she was changing into her nightie, she heard them both talking and laughing loudly. The TV was on, adding to the noise. She shut the door, switched off the light and got under the covers.

It must have been around midnight when she saw him getting into the room. She watched him drowsily as he slipped out of his clothes and got under the blanket with her. He pulled her and kissed her hungrily. She responded with a passion that that surprised her It was like some erotic dream in action. She had never experienced anything like this!

“What has come over you Gaurav” she whispered into his ears as she lay spent in his arms. He held her close to him and she felt herself drifting back to sleep.

It was nearly seven when she woke up in the morning. She dressed herself quickly and went into the bathroom to brush her teeth and wash herself!

As she opened the bedroom door and walked towards the kitchen, she saw him next to the stove

“Gaurav, sorry, I overslept. Hope you made yourself some tea” she said yawning.

“Good morning Sarala. This is Gautam. Gaurav is still asleep – on the couch out there! Would you like some coffee?” he asked, his eyes twinkling as he extended a cup of steaming hot coffee towards her.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

RAAG BHAIRAVI

I had  met them about a couple of years ago when I started going for my morning walks. An elderly couple – he in his early seventies and she, I suppose in her sixties.

I have a fairly set pattern in the route that I take on my walk. I walk along that route  twice and it is usually when I am in the beginning of my second round that I see them.  They always come by a car  parking it under the same tree every day. I used to then see him  get out ,  go  across to the other side of the car , open the door  and help her out. She had trouble moving her joints I guess and was not as fit as her husband appeared to be.  He, on the other hand was very brisk in his movements. He had a stiff bearing and his thick grey mustache made me think that he must have been in the armed forces.

I  found it very touching, the way she used to take his hand while  walking. She was not very fast and was certainly  not used to the sneakers she was wearing. Neither do I think, did she like the salwar kameeze that she wore. In all probability she was a regular saree wearer like my mother! There was therefore a self conscious air about her as she tried to negotiate her way around the damp  roads fresh from their bath in the morning dew.  But her grooming always put me to shame! I used to wonder how she found time to comb her hair, do it up in a neat bun and put her trade mark “one rupee coin” bindi so early in the morning?  It used to make me feel very conscious of my sweaty T. shirt and track pants.

Whenever we passed each other, I used to slow down and give them a smile and exchange a “Good Morning”. His used to be a curt nod accompanying the greeting while hers was softer but brilliantly  suffused with a lovely smile. I could easily imagine her to be a very friendly person while he came across as being  rather reserved.  She always had something extra to say besides “Good Morning”. Sometimes it would be as mundane as “ Nice weather isn’t it” to more personal comments like  “ You should not walk so much. You are losing too much weight”.  He never said anything much but waited quietly in the background for her to finish this small talk.

I  remember the last time I saw them together- her shoe laces had become undone and she was finding it difficult to bend down and tie them up. He made her sit on  a small bench at the side of the road and tied her laces all the while looking up at her and smiling. She on her part sat with down cast eyes  and was probably blushing, sensing  my presence across the road. No bride had looked as bashful!

In my eyes they were the most romantic of all the couples that I had known! A perfect foil for each other –she the friendly and talkative one and he the quiet and reserved man. His chivalry where his wife was concerned was something that I had only read about in books. He reminded me of the heroes of the days gone by who opened doors for women or stood up to offer them his seat. I used to see him sometimes pluck a flower from  a  creeper hanging over the wall of one of the houses and hand it to her.  She always took it from him with a shy smile and put it into her hair. It was very sweet, the way she accepted   flowers like bougainvillea and hibiscus  tucking  them into the  bun  at the back of her head just as though they were  strings of jasmines – flowers made for hair decoration!

He never rushed her to walk with him at his pace. She on the other hand was never stressed trying to keep pace with him. They walked together, hand in hand and deep in conversation –often oblivious to the world around.

I am not a very superstitious person but somehow whenever I saw them together like that I just knew that the day was going to be a wonderful one! They were like the  aroma of coffee in my kitchen and the voice of Yesudas singing Raag Bhairavi in my ear phones – it gave me hope that life held possibilities beyond what we imagine!

Then, suddenly one day, I did not see them!

Actually, it was not that sudden. It had been raining for that entire week and the few people ( other than the very determined) ventured out  for a walk. I of course, grabbed the excuse to spend those extra thirty minutes in my bed!

But when the weather improved, I went back to my routine of two rounds. A week passed, then two but I still did not see them.. ! I wondered what the matter was. Sometimes, I felt compelled to ask someone about them but then we were all strangers brought together by our common need for exercise in a public place. Very few people talked to each other outside of their own little group or cliques. Since, Aunty and Uncle ( as I had begun to refer to them in my mind), did not  mingle much with others, it was quite possible that people may not know much about them.

Thoughts about them kept coming to me at the most unexpected of moments – when I was in a meeting in the office or when I was cooking or sometimes just when I was falling asleep. I always hoped that I would see them the next day.

And then finally after about a month my wish was answered as  I saw that grey Maruti. I knew it was theirs but I was surprised that it was not parked at the usual spot. “ Uncle is probably losing his sense of routine after the long break” I thought to myself hurrying along towards the car.

The door opened but it was a  young man who got out. I waited a little beyond wondering if I had made a mistake. I knew I hadn’t because the registration number was the same.  Meanwhile, I heard the passenger side door open and saw Aunty getting out. I waited for Uncle. But no, he was not in the car.

I walked towards the car and shouting happily “Good morning Aunty! Don’t tell me you have come alone today! Where is Uncle?”

It was only when she turned around to look at me that I got the answer to my question. In place of her lovely large bindi, there was  a blank space- a space as blank as the expression in her eyes as she said   “ He will not be coming anymore with me my dear. He is now walking a different path!”

I felt my eyes fill up as I turned around and walked away. Silly, of me, considering that I hardly knew them!

I sometimes wish I had asked her how it had happened  or even said “ I am sorry”. But then words- saying them or not  would not have mattered to her. The deep love between them was a rare one. Theirs was a match made in heaven that death had decided to part..

It is more than six months today after that fateful encounter. I have not seen Aunty again !

Mornings for me will never be the same !

( I wish this was fiction)

A MEMORABLE AFFAIR

Ajay looked at Reena across the table. She looked away.  Her eyes were swollen after crying for nearlytwo hours.

“ Shall I make tea?” he asked hopefully trying to initiate a conversation. Reena continued to sniff and then it started again- the crying! He wished she would say something to him instead of just crying like that. At least if she accused him openly
about infidelity he could say something. If he spoke now, it would seem like he
really had something to hide.

“Mummy, can I go downstairs to play” asked Tinku ball in  hand.

“ Yes beta go” said Ajay. He was uncomfortable about Tinku watching this

Tinku looked at his mother curiously.  He had often seen her get angry and shout but
never had he seen her cry like this. Somehow Daddy could not joke about it the
way he did when she shouted – “ Oh my God. Help! Tinku let us duck under the
table. She might throw some vessels at us”. It used to be quite funny trying to
take cover under tables and chairs until mummy started laughing and then it was
all fine again.

The phone rang for the second time in the last half an hour. “ Daddy get the phone! Why are you not answering it ? “  Tinku asked as he made his way out .Ajay ignored it. He was in no mood to talk to anyone.

He closed the front door and looked reflectively out of the living room window. He could not believe that his life had changed like this in the last three hours!

Was it only at one clock that they were all ready to go for “Harry Potter” .  The car was at the service centre and the plan was to  pick it up on the way to the theatre, then the movie and dinner.  Tinku was very excited that they had finally managed to get the tickets. Reena had a new hair style and was fussing around with it.

No sooner had they got into the car that she took out a brush and started to do her hair looking into the rear view mirror. Tinku like all eight year olds  , was at his fidgety best dropping things from his pockets all around the floor of the car.  “ Watch it litter bug! I don’t want you messing up the car after they have fixed it and cleaned it” shouted Ajay as he put the car into gear. But Tinku was burrowing his way under the back seat trying to pull something out.

“ Daddy what is this? “ he asked. “ Put it back whatever it is”  said Reena settling back into her seat and adjusting the seat belt. “ Shall I throw it out mum?”  asked Tinku leaning forward and waving  “it” in front of her- “it” ,  being a wisp of lace-  a woman’s panty!

Reena’s face paled as she looked at the offending piece of garment. It was certainly not hers and obviously did not belong to Ajay or Tinku! Her world came crashing down in front of her !

“ What is going on..?” asked Ajay turning around to look at Tinku as he stopped at a traffic signal.  “ Someone’s chaddi”  said Tinku cheerfully as he twirled it round in front of Ajay.  “ Put that down Tinku…  Reena… !wait what are you doing?” shouted Ajay as his wife opened the door of the car and jumped out into the busy traffic junction.

It had taken him another twenty minutes to turn the car around and try to find her.  The movie obviously had to be given a miss. Surprisingly Tinku did not ask why they were heading back home. Smart chap, he obviously realized that there was something seriously wrong.

After letting himself in, he found that Reena was home and had locked herself into the bedroom. When continuous knocking for fifteen minutes did not yield any response he decided to give up and wait for her to open the door.

He was hurt about her lack of trust in him.  He was angry about how she was jumping to conclusions. What did she think he was ? Some teenager who had sex in the back seat of the car ( and allowed his girlfriend to leave her panty behind?). It was at one level funny but he dared not think about that side to it now.

Reena could not believe that this happening to her. She had heard about women whose husbands had affairs and as they say the wife was always the last to know. But Ajay! Who would believe her quiet introvert of a husband would do this. She remembered a saying “ Still waters run deep”. Yes indeed- they were now deep enough to drown  her!

The phone rang again. “ Hell! I am going to fire the person whoever it is”  he muttered as he picked up the receiver.

Reena looked behind him wondering why he had ignored the phone twice. Was his girl friend calling him? She tried to overhear the conversation.

“ Yes that is right. What? The car? Let me see…!” said Ajay as he hung up and went out of the front door. Reena followed him quietly wondering what it was. Every step that she took downstairs convinced her about who the call was possibly from. She had mental images now of scratching out the eyes of that panty owner.

She hid behind a pillar watching her husband look at the car carefully. She moved quickly to get a closer look. “ Mummy” shouted Tinku as he jumped out from somewhere.

“ Tinku, ask her to stop hiding behind that pillar and come here” said Ajay. “ Come on  mummy” said Tinku as he pulled her to the car.

“ Ma’m if you would please care to look at the car carefully and tell me what you see ” asked Ajay with exaggerated politeness. “ A blue Maruti Wagon R”  she murmured. “ Yes but please look at the number plate”

She looked down .. gosh was it possible? It was AP 06-2556 and not 2655! “ You mean it is not our car?  But where is ours?“ she asked in a whisper.

“ With the boyfriend or husband  of the owner of the lace panty” said Ajay with
a grin.  “ he is coming now with our car . Wants his car back. Guess that panty will have to go with it! ”